I remember years back, having really unbalanced emotions. Now that I am a much healthier person, I realize emotions can be healthy too. Just because I'm in a better place in life, doesn't mean all of my emotional waves get tucked in a box, and left in the closet. They travel with me, wherever I go.
The adoption process is living proof they are still traveling! I have moments of joy while I am nesting, praying for our child, and see glimpses of the future getting ever nearer.
There are also moments where I come down off my cloud of optimism, to be faced with reality.
The reality is for the next coming year or two - maybe longer depending on what God's plan is....My life and my home will be under the close scrunity of the State of Texas.
I will be faced with moments such as these: "The chip clip you have on your doritos isn't acceptable, it's open food, it must be contained in a plastic container" - - "The room may look vibrant and pleasing for the child, but you can't have those bumper pads on the crib" - - "Sorry, a high shelf isn't acceptable for your medications, they must all be locked in a box with a key - oh, sorry, I know your baby is only 3 months old - but......it's the rules".
When I ponder on these moments - I run to big Daddy God and pour out my heart to Him - pleading that He prepare me for what is about to come.
Where most days I am on the that slow steady climb to the top of the next hill in the roller coaster - and feel filled with excitement and joy - - today, I'm sliding downward a little. But, this too shall pass and I'm blessed that I have the opportunity to kneel before my Lord and have Him build up my character in all circumstances.
1 comment:
I'm so glad that we are on this journey together! I can't imagine what this would feel like on my own. I love what you said, it really speaks to me, and about the reality of the journey.
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